what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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