i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
