What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
