I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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