Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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