we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
