Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
