we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
