The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Enjoy the penises
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
