I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize