But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
