I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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