I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
