I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize