when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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