you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
