dude i'm inner monologue high
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
