ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
