Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
