He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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