Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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