using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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