While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize