He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
