We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize