Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
