Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
