He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
