Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
