Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize