Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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