I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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