i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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