my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
