chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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