apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
