did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
