I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate all girls vehemently.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think people are normalizing furries
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
