Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
