this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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