Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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