Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
