I just saw a hot homeless man
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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