If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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