Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
