I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
