She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
