I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
