well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Randomize
