I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
