Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
