I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
