Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Porn is love you can see.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
