This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
