Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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