Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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