Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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