Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's like heaven, but drunker
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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