So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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