just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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