Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
