HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
