in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
