i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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