He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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