I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
