We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize