Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
