my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
