So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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